Education and Relationship Building – Conversation Skills
My “regular job” is working as a manufacturing engineer at a Biomedical Company. The area that I support has around 30 production workers. I have always said that for a manufacturing engineer Support = Relationship. Building relationships with the people on the manufacturing floor is 80% of my Job. If this task is done properly the other 20% falls into place, and life is good.
In my certification program for PostSecondary Education I had to take a class on Interpersonal Communication. It was through this class that I was reaffirmed in my 80/20 rule stated above. It turns out that I was performing the role of a master communicator without even knowing it. I have always thought that when I write my book Manufacturing Engineering for Dummies, I would tell all my secrets. Well here is the first one:
Relationship building starts with connecting. Connecting with people happens through conversation. I used to think conversations needed to center on topics that I wanted to talk about. It turns out that people generally like to talk about themselves.
The best way to connect and start a conversation is to take interest in people. Here are my three rules for success.
1. Ask Open Ended Questions
Open ended questions cannot be answered with “yes” or “no”. A quality conversation which will build a relationship MUST be comprised of open ended questions. Good open ended questions will help keep a conversation going, and will help you learn more about the person you are conversing with. You will quickly see how much people like to talk about themselves. You just need to listen (here comes #2).
2. After you ask a question, stop and Listen
Listening is a critical skill. Open ended questions cause people to tell you information. You need to be paying attention so that you know what the person just said. This sounds quite obvious, but it doesn’t happen as much as we think it does. It takes practice to listen. Now is the time to start practicing.
3. Discover something special about every person you talk to.
I have observed the effectiveness of this rule. A former coworker used this all the time. I saw it happen, but didn’t really understand until I took the Interpersonal Communication class. We worked in a relatively small company, but every time she came out to the production area to talk to the workers she NEVER talked to them about work. Her conversation with the employee always centered around some fact that she knew about the person. Her communication style showed that she was interested in the person. This was apparent in the relationships that she had with the employees. Everyone loved her.
Remember that everyone has a story, and rule number 3 states that it is your goal to learn it.
These three rules can be used in all situations. They are universal, not just to be used on the job or in the classroom. As an education professional these relationship building skills are a must. These relationships that are built with students will be a source of joy long after the students have moved on.
Now your assignment is to go out into the world and practice these three rules on the people you meet. Ask open ended questions, listen to what they have to say, and make sure you learn something special about every person.
-Loren
